Awkward in 3...2...1.

Recently I encountered a rather embarrassing situation in which I was on an outing with a friend and he believed it to be a date. It was in fact, not a date, at least not in the romantic sense. The topic came up, "Well, what defines a date?" and he suggested that I blog about it.

Webster's defines a date as "a meeting arranged in advance". In that aspect, the excursion was indeed a date. Another definition for date is ''an engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest."

One other thing that I would like to point out as pretty big sign, (at least to me) that an outing is NOT a date: If one party is married to someone else- then it is not a date. A tryst perhaps - but a date? - Never.


Because there was no romantic interest involved, the excursion should not be deemed as a date.
Personally, I view a date as a meeting of two ( or more--ha) individuals that wish to get to know each other better in a romantic sense. This should be agreed upon beforehand as to avoid the awkwardness of the previous situation.

Because let me tell you, it is pretty uncomfortable to be unknowingly dating someone. Oh don't you scoff - and huff and think "How can that even happen?" Or think that I had to know - because I assure you, I most certainly did not. Granted, if you have read my blog at all you should be able to see that I am REALLY bad at dating.

So please let this be a warning to you all. Two people spending a lot of time together -platonically, be careful as one may have deeper interest. Those trips to the movies - he or she may think those are dates. You may be in a relationship and not even know. Eeeek!!!!

If you ever face this situation and are a complete chicken shit and want to avoid the awkward clarification, there are a few things you can do to ensure they will not want to "date" you anymore. You may possibly get a reputation as a crazy bitch. But hey - pick your battles right?

1. You can ask if they are on Face Book- if so, friend them. When they accept, immediately change relationship status to "In a relationship", and tag them.

2. Immediately like all their pictures.

3. Be certain to post things on their wall and leave voice mail messages that include pet names like ''Boo-Boo Kitty" and/or "Love Puddin''.

4. Buy a brides magazine ( whether you are male or female) - dog tag your "favorite " pages and give them the copy for their input.

5. Change your voice mail message and reference he/she in it. "Hi you have reached Amber and Mike's phone, we are not in right now. Leave a message. XOXOX!!"

6. Pick up some change of address forms from the post office , and suggest that you move in together.

[Disclaimer: If the person you do not want to "date'', is as batshit crazy as you appear to be by doing this, then I hear wedding bells in your future. Good luck getting out of it. Be certain to invite me to the shit show --I'll take pics! ]

Although, before you go all single white female, you just could do what I did, and say "Hey, you're great, but I was hoping we could just be friends. Want to go grab a beer? " He did, we did and we lived happily ever after....as friends. Yes, I know it is not as much fun as being the crazy girl, but it keeps the restraining orders away.

Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set

Brian, my 23 year old cousin died today at 4:00pm. We had been told he " would be lucky to live into the morning."

Lucky.

I would say considering he had terminal cancer which has ravaged his body starting with his lung and progressing to his liver, testicles and lymph nodes, that lucky wasn't the proper word.

Brian wasn't a smoker; It wasn't his thing. Yet, somehow he developed lung cancer. Yes, I know smokers do not have a corner on the market or anything, but for a seemingly healthy 23 year old it seemed odd. The doctors said it was just one of those things.

For a brief moment, we thought he was going to make it. The cancer seemed to go into remission and his lungs and liver cleared up. If you fast forward a few months, it seems the cancer retreated, only to reorganize itself for a new attack.

Is it not strange how we personify cancer as a calculating, thinking organism? I suppose if we think of cancer as the enemy we can then focus our energy on beating the opposition.

Brian was on liquid morphine for months. He was in so much pain that when he had to go to the bathroom, he passed out. He was on on constant oxygen, because his lungs were unable to sufficiently oxygenate his blood due to the cancer. He couldn't eat much of anything, because he became so winded. My Aunt says his labored breathing could be heard throughout the house.

This may make me a horrible person, but I am thankful he passed on. He had very little quality of life and if he could not be healed, he most certainly deserves to be in a place without pain.

Now he is.