Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set

Brian, my 23 year old cousin died today at 4:00pm. We had been told he " would be lucky to live into the morning."

Lucky.

I would say considering he had terminal cancer which has ravaged his body starting with his lung and progressing to his liver, testicles and lymph nodes, that lucky wasn't the proper word.

Brian wasn't a smoker; It wasn't his thing. Yet, somehow he developed lung cancer. Yes, I know smokers do not have a corner on the market or anything, but for a seemingly healthy 23 year old it seemed odd. The doctors said it was just one of those things.

For a brief moment, we thought he was going to make it. The cancer seemed to go into remission and his lungs and liver cleared up. If you fast forward a few months, it seems the cancer retreated, only to reorganize itself for a new attack.

Is it not strange how we personify cancer as a calculating, thinking organism? I suppose if we think of cancer as the enemy we can then focus our energy on beating the opposition.

Brian was on liquid morphine for months. He was in so much pain that when he had to go to the bathroom, he passed out. He was on on constant oxygen, because his lungs were unable to sufficiently oxygenate his blood due to the cancer. He couldn't eat much of anything, because he became so winded. My Aunt says his labored breathing could be heard throughout the house.

This may make me a horrible person, but I am thankful he passed on. He had very little quality of life and if he could not be healed, he most certainly deserves to be in a place without pain.

Now he is.