The very concept of the garage sale is rather interesting, yet I feel a little creepy at times going to them. People drag their used, unwanted crap out to the front yard, dream up random prices for it, and shoppers will flock in droves to buy this junk.
There are a few boundaries and regulations that need to be set for Garage Sales. Some of these boundaries actually need to be set for consignment shops and Goodwill stores as well. In some cases the CDC needs involved. Yes, really.
Acceptable dontations:
Furniture - tables, chairs , high chairs, couches, plates, sliverware
Clothing- Shoes, socks, dresses, pants, shorts
Tools- drills, hammers, ladders, levels
Beauty Supplies- Shampoos, Conditioners, Unopened makeup,
Unacceptable Donations:
Furniture- Sex toys. You might not think this falls under the category of "furniture" but you'd rethink that it if you went to the Garage Sale that I stumbled upon a several weeks ago.
I'd like to think this isnt something you would typically see at a Garage Sale, but I fear its probably more common than one might expect. I came upon an "adults only" bin. I figured I'd see a few adult movies, maybe some handcuffs or something, but what was present in this bin was quite frightening. There was a swing and the home owner told me I could come inside to see the chair they were selling. It seems they didn’t want to place the chair outside as it can be offensive. Im open-minded, and all, but I never thought about selling used sex toys. Granted, I didn’t think there would be a market for such a disgusting thing.
The homeowner told me "Honey, dont worry about anything, you just run the toys through the dishwasher, that cleans all the germs off." Shudder. What the holy hell are these people thinking? I felt like I needed a hazmat suit just to be in their damn yard.
NO, I didnt buy anything. Pervs.
Clothing: Underwear - how is this even a question? As I was beginning to point to the mountainous pile of used underwear ( both male and female) to make fun, and remind M how much I hated him, when I had a woman tell me "There are some cute ones in there. They are clean, we washed 'em all before we put em out there. We even got most of the stains out."
For the love of God! "Got most of the stains out?" A you f'n serious? Bottom line, they were on someone elses ass first. I'll pass. Who buys used underwear? Is underwear that expensive? I mean, I know you can buy underwear for $30 -$40 a pair. You can also get acceptable cute panties about less than $5.00 a pair at Target.
Tools- Im not sure I should
include this in the tool section, but the following items were in the tool bin. Fleet Enemas.- 2 pack, one missing. I suppose it could be considered a tool. By this time I was wanting a valium and a vodka martini, in a bad, bad way. Id like to tell you this garage sale was at a lower end neighborhood in our city. IT WASNT ---It was at a Golf course community.There was a story behind this as well. It seems one of the homeowners parents were recently staying there, and had required cases of Fleet Enemas due to a medical condition. The enemas were only needed until the gentleman in question received a colostomy bag. Then, they were left with all these left over enemas. They had no idea what to do with them, and it happened on them to sell them at the garage sale. What a wonderful idea.... sell them at a garage sale. What I found more disturbing was the fact that they said they started the sale with over 16 boxes, and were down to the last 2.
So I pick up one of the last boxes of Fleet Enemas for .50, as a gift for M as payback and go to pay. Of course M notices this and stops me. Pussy.
M finally recognized that this was a bad idea and decided to go. We went and sobbed and grabbed some drinks and we unanimously agreed that we will not peruse the Garage Sale scene again. Hopefully, ever.
Oh. M found the Hummel on Ebay.
Lessons learned :
1. There are reasons behind most things people do.
2. I dont care to know any of them.
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