Memorable quotes brought to you by the cast of characters that make up my life..

My friends inspire me, and provide a wealth of memorable quotes. I will provide some below for your reading pleasure:

JB: "Any morning you wake up with feet in your face, be thankful that it is just feet in your face, as it could be a lot worse. "

JR: Welcome to your kitchen. Let me show you around.

Cobra: Scarlet - when you try to stick a triple lindy off the couch, the landing needs to be just right.

JA: I'll pretty much suck anything. ( referring to oysters, but sounded way, way worse)

JA: You should have seen what I did to the bathroom on Saturday night!!

SB: We need to go talk to the grazalotender.
Me: I'm sorry what?
SB: The brazlotender.
Me: Still not following.
SB: You know the deliverer of drinks.
JL: Oh, bartender.
Me: Oh - makes perfect sense now.

Popo: We need to see your ladies ID's.
Group: Uh ok, why. We are just hanging out at the bar.
Bartender pulls me aside: They think you all are hookers. They don't recognize you so they have to make sure you aren't turning tricks.
Me: You think we are hookers?
Popo: Now, no one said that. We just do random bag checks. And yes there has been a lot of out of town prostitution in Vegas lately.
JB:.. Oh hell no...
Me:" Well at least we can cross that off our bucket list. 'Getting mistaken for prostitutes in Vegas.' Check."

S: Wow -- hes pretty intense isn't he?

JB: " OMG! That is straight vodka! I thought it was a glass of ice water!"
AH: Sorry about that. We were out of mixers.
JB: You knew? HAHAHA You bitch - you just let me sit there and drink it!"
AH: " I had to let it run its course. I poured a glass of water too, I just wasn't sure which was which. There was a 50/50 chance of you getting the water - those are decent odds. "

JB: " Stop being so bennie. You'll bennie the hell out of something."

KP: Its an armadillo, thats what I'll tell them.

KP: We cant get there from here.

SB: Where are we?
Me: I was hoping you knew.
SB: How did we get lost going across the street.
Me: We are not across the street.
SB; Well I see that, but how did we get here?
Me: No idea. There was detour due to construction. Took us to scaryville.

AHM: Are we going the right way?
Me: Probably not. Looks like we are parallel to the road we need to be on.
AHM: Where the hell is this taking us.
Me: Someplace scary.
AHM: No kidding. Do you hear banjos?
Me; No. But this does look eerily like the movie Wrong Turn, that I believe was filmed in WV.
AHM: Nice. I may be little, but I am mean.
Me: We are almost out of gas. Are your doors locked?
AHM: Seems dark out here doesnt it. I love adventure.
Me: Adventure. It'd be an adventure with a full tank of gas. On less than a 1/4 tank its just a sad series of wrong turns.


JA: "If five states are not enough space for him- Hoover you may have to leave the country."

During travel when I worked for Sage we had to stay at a less than desirable establishment in south side Chicago. One of the other Sage employees said " I woke up in my bed to the smell of crack ." Her boss responded with:

" If I wake up to the smell of crack in my bed, I know I have slipped down too far under the covers."

JL: "Look at those dorks. Its like they are waiting for a dork convention. Lets go talk to them, they seem fun. "

LA: "Debbie Does Dallas the Musical? How the hell do you sing with a wiener in your mouth?"

LA: "You're right. A wreath on the end of the house would be too TOO much. Gaudy even. "

LA: Those look like Daddies nuts!"

LA: "We drank Four Loko yesterday? I remember drinking something in a can, but the rest of the day was a blur. Oh, Merry Christmas btw"

BM: I think we have all come down with a case of the ship aids.

BM: Its pimpin' pimpin'

N: YGTLIUTGIU.

N: Live in the moment.

N: You attempted to overlook his obvious physical flaws, but in the end you couldn't. It is really for the best. You're a good person for trying. ;-)

Me: The teacups were fun when I was a kid.
N: Not so much now.
Me: I cant ride them again.
N: Neither can I.
Me: I will pay someone a cool hundred to ride them with Cal.
Me: I think I am going to barf. Will Cinderella ride them with her, do you think?
N: Ohhh make the spinning stop.
Me: This has nothing to do with the bottle of wine from last night,right?
N: No of course not.

Me: Is that a greasy footprint on the wall?
N: It does appear that way.
Me: How does that happen? Its not even in a good spot.
N: It is perplexing.

LA and I were out a few years ago at a bar and we were chatting with some guys:

Random guy to LA: "Are you autistic?"
LA to Me: "OMG - Ang - he just asked if I was autistic! Does my eye shadow make me look like I have downs?"
Me to Random guy: " What did you just ask her?"
Random Guy: " I asked if she was autistic. You know does she like to draw and stuff?"
Me to random guy: " Ohhhh artistic. I follow now. "
Random Guy: "That's what I said. Autistic. "
Me to LA: "Err..yes lets go."

BB to Me and AM in Los Angeles: Wow - thats a lot of avocado on your salad.
AM: It is a lot.
BB: You all will be poopin' good!
Me: Avocado makes you poop?
BB: It does me. Maybe I should of ordered that.
Me: Do you need some avocado? We have plenty.
BB: No, no. Well ok, just a bit. Its very potent. I dont need much.

DM: You have got to be pulling my piss pump!
DM: Settle down princess

Me: Did you just strike me?
DM: I thought you were dead.
Me: So its ok to hit me because you think I am dead?
DM: Well no, I mean, I thought you were dead. Oh Never mind. Do you remember last night? The wheelchair? The disco? The elevator incident?
Me: Stop changing the subject. I remember you striking me, and I wont forget it either. Why does my head hurt so bad? I don't feel so good. Where are we?
DM: Mexico.
Me: Oh. Now I remember. My bad. Good call on smacking me.
DM: Oh, I know.

LA: Invite the Situation out. Not because I want to meet him, but so I will have a better point of reference for when I make fun of him.